| Week # |
Show # |
Thought Of The Day: "The Turtle" |
|
| 5 |
1 |
"People who live in glass houses, should wear masks." |
| 5 |
2 |
"Count your blessings. Start with zero." |
| 5 |
3 |
"Experience is the best teacher... and I love her arms." |
| 5 |
4 |
"The hounds of spring are on winter's traces. Look out
now!" |
| 5 |
5 |
"You can't judge a book by its cover. Now." |
| 6 |
1 |
"A stitch in time may save your leg." |
| 6 |
2 |
"Mother knows best, so she stole from my father." |
| 6 |
3 |
"Familiarity breeds contempt. Why am I the one to stand before
your face?" |
| 6 |
4 |
"A ship without a sail has an engine - somewhere." |
| 6 |
5 |
"Pride goeth before a fall, so smile as you go." |
| 7 |
1 |
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Sorry." |
| 7 |
2 |
"Variety is the spice of life. More money, please." |
| 7 |
3 |
"To be or not to be... who?" |
| 7 |
4 |
"It's a wise man who knows his own father... so stop bugging
people!" |
| 7 |
5 |
no thought for the day. |
| 9 |
1 |
"This above all: to thine own self be true. Tell me no lies,
self. Smack!" |
| 9 |
2 |
"Brevity is the soul of wit... and I also dig her
cooking." |
| 9 |
3 |
"East is east and west is west and never the twain shall meet.
So take the Vine Street off-ramp to Morocco." |
| 9 |
4 |
"Help is on the way... so keep cheating." |
| 9 |
5 |
"A bird in the hand may lay an egg." |
| 10 |
1 |
"Little pitchers have big ears. Knock 'em off!" |
| 10 |
2 |
"All for one, and one for all, and three for five." |
| 10 |
3 |
"Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, I shall draw
pictures." |
| 10 |
4 |
"Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, and dirt is
brown. Na-ha, Na-ha!" |
| 10 |
5 |
"Hitch your wagon to a star, and pay for it by the month." |
| 11 |
1 |
"A friend in need is a friend indeed. In need a deed..." |
| 11 |
2 |
"To the victor belongs the spoils. Take 'em home. Make some
cheese." |
| 11 |
3 |
"All the world's a stage. Get off my garbage can!" |
| 11 |
4 |
"Confession is good for the soul. Where were you last night,
Margaret?" |
| 11 |
5 |
"Discretion is the better part of valor... and I also love her
legs." |
| 12 |
1 |
"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. So
what?" |
| 12 |
2 |
"What fools these mortals be. Lend me a dime." |
| 12 |
3 |
"Every dog must have his day. Happy birthday, hound!" |
| 12 |
4 |
"A rolling stone gathers no moss, but a man moving in time must
collect his thoughts." |
| 12 |
5 |
"There's nothing new under the sun, except a new day." |
| 13 |
1 |
"Red sky at night, sailor's delight. Off the edge we go!" |
| 13 |
2 |
"Necessity is the mother of invention, and he's getting a
commission in the army." |
| 13 |
3 |
"As ye sow, so shall ye reap, ye dum-dum!" |
| 13 |
4 |
"Dumb like a fox, smart like a rock." |
| 13 |
5 |
"Love at first sight, hate at second look." |
|
|
Thought Of The Day: "What is love? Love, to..." |
| 14 |
1 |
"...a violin, is to be owned by Jack Benny." |
| 14 |
2 |
"...a loaf of bread is a kid that won't throw it like a
football." |
| 14 |
3 |
"...a fountain pen is ink that flows." |
| 14 |
4 |
"...a star is an all day flicker." |
| 14 |
5 |
"...a printing press is the word itself." |
| 15 |
1 |
"...a newspaper is a shoe with no holes." |
| 15 |
2 |
"...a leaf is being the last one off the tree." |
| 15 |
3 |
"...a cough drop is a throat that's already soothed." |
| 15 |
4 |
"...a desk is a drink spilled only on the ink blotter." |
| 15 |
5 |
"...a paper bag is a fish sandwich wrapped in wax paper." |
| 16 |
1 |
"...a tree is a sidewalk without cement." |
| 16 |
2 |
"...a cup and saucer is a steady hand." |
| 16 |
3 |
"...an electric light is the switch that turns it on. Oh
wow." |
| 16 |
4 |
"...an overshoe is a shoe that fits." |
| 16 |
5 |
"...a wall to wall carpet is a cigarette that's in an
ashtray." |
| 17 |
1 |
"...an eagle is a light blam." |
| 17 |
2 |
"...an air conditioner is a cold day." |
| 17 |
3 |
"...a prizefighter is a cut man that wasn't needed." |
| 17 |
4 |
"...a little kid is sanitary mud." |
| 17 |
5 |
"...an elephant is a smooth peanut. " |
| 18 |
1 |
"...a shetland pony is a thin human being." |
| 18 |
2 |
"...a sports car is a freeway with no cops." |
| 18 |
3 |
"...a candy bar is a child's sweet tooth." |
| 18 |
4 |
"...a piece of paper is a match, burned out." |
| 18 |
5 |
"...a pomegranate is anybody that doesn't ask what it is." |
| 19 |
1 |
"...a steam shovel is a big rock that fell off." |
| 19 |
2 |
"...a bulletin board is a thumb tack that sticks." |
| 19 |
3 |
"...an inner tube is a patch that stays on. Oh wow. " |
| 19 |
4 |
"...a fountain is a drunk that can't swim." |
| 19 |
5 |
"...a surfboard is a foot with short toenails." |
| 20 |
1 |
"...a sheriff is a man that locks himself up." |
| 20 |
2 |
"...an adding machine is a soft index finger." |
| 20 |
3 |
"...the moon is a man that turns into a wolf." |
| 20 |
4 |
"...a grandmother is a grandchild that says 'Hello', long
distance." |
| 20 |
5 |
"...a big toe is a light on in any room that it's walking
in." |
| 29 |
1 |
"...a dentist's drill, is a nerve that won't tell." |
| 29 |
2 |
"...a piece of carbon paper, is a typist without a
mistake." |
| 29 |
3 |
"...a spare tire, is a flat on his friend." |
| 29 |
4 |
"...a bird's nest, is a human that leaves it alone." |
| 29 |
5 |
"...a calendar, is a hand that turns it over every day."
| |
| 30 |
1 |
"...a window shade, is a peeping tom." |
| 30 |
2 |
"...a toothbrush, is a tooth that won't fall out." |
| 30 |
3 |
"...a warty toad, is a princess who thinks one day, he will be a
prince." |
| 30 |
4 |
"...a treadmill, is a man with no place in particular to go. Now
that that's over, we bring you back to real life." |
| 30 |
5 |
"...an accountant, is a five dollar meal with a forty dollar
receipt." |
| 32 |
1 |
"...a june bug, is a kid without a string." |
| 32 |
2 |
"...Pike's Peak, is a mountain climber without a
pick." |
| 32 |
3 |
"...an X-ray, is a bone without a fracture." |
| 32 |
4 |
"...a shoelace, is a mouth that won't curse when it
breaks." |
| 32 |
5 |
"...an ice cube, is an ice tong with cotton tips." |
| 33 |
1 |
"...a pomegranate, is a man that swallows the seeds." |
| 33 |
2 |
"...a whooping crane, is a good joke." |
| 33 |
3 |
"...a brick wall, is a head that won't bang on it." |
| 33 |
4 |
"...a landlord, is a rat that hides when the inspector
comes." |
| 33 |
5 |
"...a Las Vegas gambler, is a wife that stayed home." |
| 34 |
1 |
"...a corned beef sandwich, is mayonnaise that just covers
itself with its goodness." |
| 34 |
2 |
"...a ski lift, is the man who rides it going down,
also." |
| 34 |
3 |
"...an iguana, is a human being without a net or a
cage." |
| 34 |
4 |
"...a cloudy day, is a sunshine smile." |
| 34 |
5 |
"...a man from Mars, is a rocket ship from Earth that
missed." |
| 35 |
1 |
"...a stopped-up sink, is a plumber's footsteps." |
| 35 |
2 |
"...a flagpole, is never having to fly half-mast." |
| 35 |
3 |
"...a tired father, is a child that puts him to
sleep." |
| 35 |
4 |
"...a Bengal tiger, is a slow-footed hunter." |
| 35 |
5 |
"...a walrus, is a mustache trim for ten cents." |
| 36 |
1 |
"...a harp, is a calloused hand that plucks softly." |
| 36 |
2 |
"...a canceled check, is money in the bank first thing Monday
morning." |
| 36 |
3 |
"...a piano tuner, is a piano that goes out of tune every other
day." |
| 36 |
4 |
"...a chimney sweep, is white soot." |
| 36 |
5 |
"...a lightning bolt, is a man with a kite, a door key, and wet
feet." |
| 37 |
1 |
"...a Model T Ford, is a Cobra engine and mag
wheels." |
| 37 |
2 |
"...a garage door, is a woman driver who lets her husband park
it." |
| 37 |
3 |
"...a double boiler, is a little something for the bottom,
also." |
| 37 |
4 |
"...a cow, is an empty pail, a 3-legged stool, and a calf."
|
| 37 |
5 |
"...a rotten apple, is a full
barrel." |
