Byron th' E'f: Time now fo' t'other viset wif...

S.L.: Howdy, chillun. Today we is a-gonna hear th' sto'y ah call "Th' To'toise an' th' Hare."

(SFX: Music box)

Once upon a time thar was a race between a to'toise an' a hare. But th' hare went t'sleep an' th' to'toise won, as enny fool kin plainly see.

(SFX: Music box inds.)

Byron:...thass all, Sto'y Lady?

S.L.: Uh-huh.

Byron: Wal, thass an awfully sho't sto'y.

S.L.: Yessuh. Wal, thar is sho't ones an' long ones. Right?

Byron: But, Sto'y Lady...

S.L.: (Interruppin') Look, ah's in a helter-skelter. I've gotta buy some mooscatel fo' th' weekend, so, let me outta hyar a li'l early, okay?

Byron: But whut about yer fans, Sto'y Lady?

S.L.: Let 'em git their OWN mooscatel! Fry mah hide! Now, am ah gwine out thet dore past yo', ovah yo' o' THROUGH yo'???

(SFX: Soun's of a fistfight, follered by a dore slam, dawgone it.)

Byron: Thank yo', Sto'y Lady. Be sho'nuff yer lissenin' next time, fellas an' gals, when Th' Sto'y Lady tells us whar t'go eff'n yer hankerin' a bone stuck through yer nose.

©1968, 2001 Mel Blanc Produckshuns.