Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Non-Dysfunctional Freberg

Stan Freberg here. Do you get the feeling sometimes that everyone in the world is dysfunctional and ends up on "Oprah"? There's no stopping the avalanche of "self-help" books. Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. I know someone who is not in rehab--me. Amazing, huh? I also belong to a "family unit," as the sociologists say, who are not what you'd call your basic dysfunctional family. I realize my wife, my kids, and myself will never get on "Donahue" at this rate, but he has more than enough people to fill up those chairs on the stage, you know.

The other day, my son Donavan asked me "Dad, why can't we be more dysfunctional like most of the other families I know?" I told him "Son, I'm sorry. We're functional. It's just something we have to live with."

Churning out "self-help" books to assist dysfunctionals has become a major growth industry. In fact, I wrote a book, a humorous autobiography, which some people confused with these books because of its title. I once asked a woman behind the counter at the O'Hare Airport book store if she had my book.

"What's the title again?" I told her, "It Only Hurts When I Laugh." "Yes, that's over in the 'self-help' section." "No, no," I said, "it should be in 'Humor'." "'Self-HELP,'" she told me sternly, "right next to 'I'm OK, You're OK'!"

So there you go. The woman willed it to be still one more "self-help" book, no matter what the author said. Now a new book is out called "I'm Dysfunctional, You're Dysfunctional."

Says WHO?

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.