Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

The Japanese Inventions Page

Stan Freberg here with the Japanese inventions page. It's kinda reassuring to note that all products introduced by Japan don't turn out to be as successful as a Sony VCR, say, or a Toyota. A pair of six-day underwear, introduced by a Japanese inventor, did not take off like a Lexus. Right after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. In previous invention fairs, Japanese inventors have introduced such things as portable pedestrian white lines - you carry it like a rug, then roll it across the highway during a lull in traffic. Presto! An instant crosswalk! The item did not go. Probably was illegal.

But other dubious-sounding Japanese inventions turned out to be winners. For example, pantyhose impregnated with the insecticide "Deet," to ward off mosquitoes. It was a big hit in Tokyo. And a musical bra which played six seconds of Mozart, but possibly might ward off a prospective date who hated classical music. The musical bra came in several styles. The matching panties were silent.

But at a different inventors' fair, a Japanese inventor introduced something called "Six day underwear," a garment with three leg holes! Instructions said the wearer was supposed to rotate the underwear 120 degrees each day for three days, then turn it inside out, for another three days. The item did not go. Just laid there.

Of COURSE it laid there! After the same underwear being worn six days, you'd have to peel it off the floor!

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.