Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Harper's Index: Super Bowl, Three Stooges, etc., etc.

Stan Freberg here with a few more interesting statistics from "Harper's Index." Amount of trash generated last January by NFL-sponsored Super Bowl events, in tons? 313. That's all, huh? I don't think the private Super Bowl party I attended generated that much. Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here with more amazing "Harper's Index" statistics. Number of Americans who favor placing ads on the dollar bill to help cut the deficit or lower taxes? 35%. Hey, not a bad idea! George Washington could be saying things like "I use Clairol on my wig," or "I cannot tell a lie--I used a Black & Decker hatchet to cut down the cherry tree!"

Next item: amount the Pentagon spends each day on the maintenancce ofits grounds? $1,849. Hmm, hey, they got a lot of hedges to trim, to say nothing of budgets.

Next, number of days after escaping a Danish prison last August that an inmate asked to be allowed back in? 26 days. Well, who could blame them? He gets room service, free ice cream, he doesn't have to look for a job...hey, it's rough out there!

Finally, ratio of Americans who can name the Three Stooges, to those who can name the Supreme Court justices? 3 to 1. Well, that's ridiculous. Let's see, there's Sandra Day O'Connor, uh, Curly, um, Moe...gee, I'm all out of time.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.