Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Lizard Dials "9-1-1", Saves Man's Life

Stan Freberg here with a rather oddball story. A man's life was saved when his pet lizard dialed "9-1-1." The paramedics came and discovered he was having a heart attack...not the lizard, his owner. Anyhow, the man lived. Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. Heart attack victim Ray Gambrian of New York City is alive today thanks to his pet lizard, who saved his life by dialing "9-1-1." Authorities say the man would be dead today if it hadn't been for his iguana, named "Lester," who somehow managed to knock the receiver off the hook and dial "9-1-1" on Gambrian's touch-tone phone, summoning paramedics..

What do you mean, "somehow"? That iguana was TRAINED for emergencies as a "paralizard," and memorized "9-1-1," you can't tell me otherwise.

But the dispatcher who took the call claims, "It was a one-in-a-million freak accident. We got a call, and there was no one on the other end of the line, but I heard an agonized gasping, so we traced the call and dispatched an ambulance, just in time to save the man's life."

Gambrian says, "Lester and I have always had a special relationship. When I collapsed and couldn't reach the phone, Lester read my mind and called for help." Oh, yeah - I always say, "Take the time to teach your iguana how to call for help."

Let's try it again,, no, first you bump the receiver off the hook, then you dial "9-1-1." That's a good lizard.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.