Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Belly Up To The Oxygen Bar

Stan Freberg here. Well, the Chinese have brought us Kung Fu, Oriental medicine and acupuncture, to name just a handful of gifts. Now, according to the Wall Street Journal, they've introduced the oxygen bar. The what? Tell you more, after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. "Come on, I'll buy you a gulp of air." Is this the latest "come-on" from young urban Chinese men in singles bars? Yes. Oxygen bars have sprung up in cities all over China - 100 so far.

Oxygen bar patrons say it relaxes them after a tense day. "Yessir, what'll it be?" "Ah...give me a double-shot of air." Bar owners claim it helps the skin and feeds the brain. Hey, writing five of these commentaries a week, 52 weeks a year, I'm for anything natural that feeds my brain. Lead me to the nearest oxygen bar!

Customers at The Flying Dragon in Ku Ning can sing karaoke songs, or nibble on fruit while breathing oxygen. People can either breathe it through a mask, or have it piped into a private room with red lighting, black leather love seats, and 99% oxygen. Hmm...sounds like more may be going on there besides gulping air.

Would James Bond, in his next film, stop by one of these bars and ask his next femme fatale to bring him not a martini, but some oxygen?..."Shaken, not stirred."

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.