Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

The Witch Doctor Will See You Now

Stan Freberg here. In Borneo, witch doctors treat gum problems by putting a poultice of dead ants on your gums...your gums, maybe - not mine! [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. Cherokee medicine men treat asthma by having you smoke cigarettes made of dried stramonium the "No Smoking" end of the hut.

And Mexican witch doctors treat heart attack victims by sprinkling the powdered heart of a blue jay on their food, and holding a poinsettia next to their heart. You think paramedics, before they take off, say, "Okay, we got the poinsettia?" "Check." "Powdered blue jay heart?" "Check." "All right, let's roll!"

If you have an earache, Canadian Indian medicine men will bake the heart of an onion and put it in your ear. "Say what?" Well, if you'd take that onion out of your ear, you could understand me.

Incidentally, on CNN I saw witch doctors putting herbs all over Bill Clinton's picture, and spitting on it, to save his presidency. You think that'll help? Couldn't hurt!

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1998, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.