Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

What's In A Nickname?

Stan Freberg here. I got to thinking about nicknames lately. Has anybody ever called Bob Dole "Robert"? Has anybody ever called Newt Gingrich "Newton," as in "Fig"? That's his correct name--not "Fig," that is; "Newton." Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here, talking about nicknames. Pat Buchanan probably never becomes "Patrick". No, it's just plain old "Pat." And the strange informality of politics turned our 39th President, James Earl Carter, Jr., into "Jimmy," or (in Southern accent) "Jimmy." Probably hated being called "junior."

In my family, I have two "Jr." nephews: Bill, Jr., Bob, Jr.; and my daughter is named Donna, Jr. They all hate being called "Jr."

My wife, who grew up in Louisiana, says every third person in the South is called "Bubba," because little kids can't say the word "brother," so it comes out "Bubba."

My son-in-law, Dustin Ebsen, has gone by the name "Dusty" as long as he can remember. His dad, the actor Buddy Ebsen, is the one who turned "Dustin" into "Dusty." And when Dusty was little, he couldn't say his sister's name, which was Kirsten. "Kiki" was as close as he got. Today, Kiki Ebsen is a well-known keyboard player for bands like Al Jarreau and Chicago.

I know of a harmonica player named "Toots" and a record producer named "T-Bone."

I always wanted a nickname, but maybe not "Doc." The writer Nelson Algren said, "Never eat at a place called 'Mom's,' never play cards with a man named 'Doc.'"

Maybe I'll just settle for...Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.