Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Dumb Doomed Words

Stan Freberg here. Some time back, some "political correctness" people tried to force us to use, instead of the words "waitress" or "waiter," the cumbersome word "waitperson." Did it go over big? It did NOT. More on that, after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. Good news for language buffs! The words "waitron," or "waitperson," are dead as a linguistic doornail! These supposedly politically correct substitutes for "waiter" or "waitress"--which the "p.c." people attempted to shove down the throats of American language--have not gone over well.

William Safire, the language pundit of the New York Times, reports that the heavy-handed "waitperson"--and the even more convoluted "waitron"--are pretty much out of use now. He said for one thing, waitresses didn't mind being called waitresses.

Good! Another triumph of common sense over so-called "political correctness."

Every time I called out, tongue-in-cheek, in a restaurant, "Hey, Waitperson!" everybody laughed. How, then, did these dumb, cumbersome words actually end up in some new dictionary, like the 3rd edition of the American Heritage dictionary?

Ah, publishers, nervously trying too hard to be correct. They should have checked with me or William Safire.

I say if a word sounds dumb, it's DOOMED!

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.