Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Might As Well Face It...She's Addicted To Peas.

Stan Freberg here. I thought I'd heard everything, but I just heard about a woman with a strange addiction. Instead of cigarettes or drugs, this woman is addicted to green peas! I'll have more when I come back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. Recently I told you about a company that mashed up green peas into the shape of french fries in order to get kids to eat their vegetables. It was called, "I Hate Peas!" and it flopped!

Well, now here's something positive about peas. Patricia Engles, mother of two in San Diego, is addicted not to drugs, cigarettes or other harmful stuff. Instead, she's addicted to fresh peas!

"I can't go through an entire day without 'em," Ms. Engles, 32, says. "Gotta have 'em." Every few minutes, she says, no matter what she's doing, her eyes glaze over, her mouth waters and she stops to eat peas. "That's all I eat," she says. Hmm.

She's certainly not saddled with a weight problem - Mrs. Engles is pretty skinny. Her addiction to peas began when she was growing up on her parents' Kansas farm, where peas were plentiful, and this strange addiction has carried over into her adult life. Nutritionally, it isn't doing her any harm, and it's certainly better than cigarettes, drugs, or alcohol. And she's never far from her peas - she carries a bag of fresh green peas with her wherever she goes! In one year's time, she estimates she carries a total of 356 pounds of peas!

Hey, it could be worse--she could be addicted to fresh corn! Not only would she have to lug those heavy bags behind her, but then there's the litter know, stopping every few minutes to husk some ears of corn, and then leaving a trail of husks and hulls behind her.

I guess it's a harmless peaversion.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.