Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Hey, Kinko's! When Did the Noun "Office" Become A Verb?

Stan Freberg here with a few more comments on language. When did the noun "office" become a verb? Huh? Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. I frequent a place I'm sure you're familiar with, a chain of copy places called "Kinko's." Recently, while waiting for some copies I was having made--and by the way, they do excellent work--I noticed a sign on the wall. It said, "Kinko's--the new place to office."

"To OFFICE?" I beg your pardon! When did the noun "office" become a verb? Some wise-acre ad person probably just decided "to office" would work.

Not for me! Can you imagine someone saying to his or her spouse, "Boy, I'm tired. I've been office-ing all day," or answering a phone call, "No, he's not here at the moment, he's office-ing."

Have you ever heard anybody say that in real life, I mean outside of somebody at the aforementioned copy place? Not likely.

Where could this lead? To someone saying about a Dodgers' first baseman: "I'm sorry, he's baseballing right now"; or the little mother-to-be: "I'm afraid she's delivery rooming at the moment."

"Ahem, Mr.Rather? He's anchor-desking." Or how about, "Mr. Clinton? I'm sorry, he's White House-ing at the moment." Get with it, Kinko's! "Office" is a NOUN, not a verb! DUMP that line, or I won't "Kinko" anymore!

Or should I say, "I won't be 'Kinko-ing' any more"?

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.