Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Possible Life on Mars? Naah.

Stan Freberg here. A rock from the planet Mars has scientists excited because small life forms were discovered inside, says NASA. What does this mean? Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. A small meteorite, supposedly from the planet Mars, was frozen when it landed on Earth in Antarctica 13,000 years ago. Then in 1984, it was found and shipped to the Johsnon Space Lab in Houston. About a year ago, the 4 and 1/2 pound meteorite was sliced open, and what was inside the potato-shaped rock? Sour cream and chives? No, excited scientists discovered fossil-like structures and bacteria, which may be the first scientific proof that life once existed on Mars.

My friend, Ray Bradbury, could have told them there was life on Mars. He's the author of the sci-fi classic, "The Martian Chronicles," first published in 1946. Ray pretty much pooh-poohed the recent rock discovery. "It's ridiculous," Bradbury told the L.A. Times. "They aren't even sure the rock is from Mars!" Whatever you say, Ray. I say most young people would be more interested if they'd discovered rock and roll on Mars.

Later this year, the Jet Propulsion Labs will launch the "Mars Pathfinder," which will send a rover to explore the surface of Mars. Maybe it'll find a red, dusty copy of "The Martian Chronicles" on Mars.

Then we'll know there's not only life, but literate life, on Mars.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.