Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

New Products That Flopped!

Stan Freberg here with a few ideas that just didn't make it. For example, denim diapers. If they'd worked out, Americans could have gone from cradle to grave wearing just blue denim. More business flops, after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. I've mentioned the New Products Showcase in Ithica, New York, a museum dedicated to new products that didn't make it, like "Nude Beer," featuring a girl in a bikini on the label. You could scratch off the girl's bikini, so she ended up nude. Too many people complained, and it was taken off the market. Sounds like a great beer for screenwriter Joe Esterhaus and director Paul Vehoven, who made the movie "Showgirls." Talk about something that should be taken off the market!

And how about root beer-flavored milk from Dad's Root Beer? Didn't work out any more than "Dino Drops," a matching tie clip-and-cufflinks made from 150 million year old dinosaur droppings. Marketed back in 1969, 25 years before "Jurassic Park," it was just ahead of its time. On the other hand, it probably would have sold well 150 million years ago, except cave men didn't wear cufflinks.

Finally, a french fry company had, they thought, a sure-fire way to get kids to eat peas. They mashed up peas and re-formed them in the shape of french fries! They called them "I Hate Peas!" Were the kids fooled? They were not! The product died its death, and ended up in the museum of failed products.

I wonder which Presidential candidates will end up in there!

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.