Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

The Oscar Shredder

Stan Freberg here. I just found out what happens to damaged Oscars here in Hollywood. I always figured they just melted 'em down. Wrong. They just use an Oscar shredder. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. Bruce Davis, executive director of the Motion Picture Academy, says when stars traded their bent or broken Oscars in for a new model, he just put the old ones in his office closet. Then came the Northridge earthquake, and his closet really filled up.

So what to do with them? He tried hacksaws, but that didn't cut it. Enter "Shred It, Inc." They just rolled in a 5 ft. high metal shredder, all those Oscars came out of the closet--so to speak--and with a terrible crunching sound, the deed was done.

I assume Mr. Davis gave a short speech: "Oh, gosh, there's so many people, but mainly I'd like to thank Shred It, Inc., for making this possible," as the man handed him the bill.

That's all from the Oscar shredding desk.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1998, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.