Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

There'll Never Be A Hurricane Xavier (1998 Version)

Stan Freberg here. Not long ago, a hurricane named "Darby," in the Pacific, petered out before it could hit the West Coast. "Darby"? Where do they get these names? Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. Until 1979, the National Hurricane Center used female names exclusively. And then the feminists whined, "Why do they all have to be named after women?"

Okay. From then on, they alternated male and female names; you know, equal pay, equal opportunities, equal hurricanes. Fine with me.

A spokesman says storms must be easy to pronounce--I guess that rules out "Hurricane Boutrous-Boutrous Ghali"--and are named in alphabetical order, excluding the letters Q, U, X, Y & Z. This means no storms will ever be named "Quentin," "Ulysses," "Xavier," "Yvonne" or "Zsa Zsa."

Probably won't be one named "Monica," either. She already caused her own storm. It'd be redundant.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1998, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.