Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Is The Pope...polish?

Stan Freberg here with another language update. How does it happen in the English language that words that are spelled exactly the same have entirely different meanings? Not long ago, I discussed the word "bill." Many meanings for the same word--a duck's beak, the front of a golf hat, the President of the United Staes, wearing a golf hat--all are a "biil." Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. I saw an ad on TV for a new Polish for silverware. "No, no," you say, "that's pronounced 'polish.'" Oh, really? It's spelled "p-o-l-i-s-h." Are you saying that the Pope is polish? "No, he's Polish." How do you spell that? "P-o-l-i-s-h." Uh-huh. How do you spell "polish"? "P-o-l-i-s-h." Uh-huh. I rest my case.

Also, if a person learning English hears that a fireman slides down a pole, do they think he slides down a Polish gentleman?: "Okay, put on your skis and grab your poles." "You want I should grab two Polish persons?" "No, no."

"Okay, you're entered in the pole vault, you got your pole?" "You want I should vault into the air using a person from Poland?" "No, no--not a 'Pole', a pole!"

Do you teach English? "That's my racket." What's that thing you're hitting the tennis ball with? "Oh, that's my racket." Hmm. Must be very confusing to someone attempting to learn English. Maybe he'd just as soon learn some other language.

In the meantime, I got some new Simoniz. I have to go Polish my car.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.