Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Words Aren't Pronounced How They're Spel-led

Stan Freberg here. As a teenager, I used to get laughs by mispronouncing the name "Penelope" as "Pen-e-lope" (Penn-eh-loap). Hey, it looks like "Pen-e-lope" to me! Why aren't words pronounced the way they're spel-led? Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. I always wondered why words aren't pronounced the way they look. Growing up in Pasadena, I used to mispronounce a lot of words, to the annoyance of my sister Gwenny. For example, I'd pronounce the "k" on the front of "knife": "Hand me that Swiss Army K-nife." Probably came from my dad's pronouncing the "E" on the front of "Europe": "Well, Stan, I understand your latest record is very big in E-urope." His parents came from Sweden, and they always said "E-urope." Hey, they saw that "E" and pronounced it!

That's the nice thing about America: it's pronounced just the way it looks - "A-mer-i-ca"! Which brings us back to "Pen-e-lope." "That's 'Penelope,'" my sister would say. "Oh, yeah?" I'd say. "Then how come 'envelope' isn't pronounced 'en-vel-o-pe'? I'll just slip this letter into this en-vel-o-pe."

Today my daughter, Donna Jr., is always taking me to task for pronouncing Demi Moore "Deh-mi." "Demi, dad, Demi!" Reminds me of when I used to drive her crazy by pronouncing the name of her jeans "Jord-ache." "That's 'Jordache' (jord-ash), dad!" "Oh, really?" I'd say. "It's spelled like 'ache.' Jord-ache!" "No, 'a-c-h-e' is pronounced 'ash'!" "Really?" I'd say. "That reminds me, I've gotta get to the dentist...I have a tooth-ash."

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.