Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

The Freberg Part-Time Television Plan

Stan Freberg here. Watching an evening's worth of forgettable TV recently, I was reminded of a proposal I once put forward at a PBS convention which would de-escalate TV to three nights a week. More on that, after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. So there I was, the keynote speaker at a PBS affiliates' convention at M.I.T. in Cambridge. I said, "Where is it written that every waking hour of every day and night must be filled up to the orthicon tube with something?"

"If television is spreading its programming too thin, and its commercials too thick, while our minds slowly turn into rutabagas, consider the 'Freberg Part-Time Television Plan'."

"Henceforth, America would just watch TV three days a week. Here we go: Monday, television as ususal. Tuesday, the set goes black, but one word appears in the center of the screen: 'READ.'"

"Wednesday, it's television as usual; Thursday the set goes black again, but this time we see the word 'TALK.' Friday, television as usual; Saturday, the words 'UNSUPERVISED ACTIVITY' appear on the screen. And what happens to Sunday? Well, we have to have somewhere to lump all those leftover 'infomercials,' don't we?"

"Think of it. When you got home from church, you could just watch wall-to-wall advertising--all they hold dear at the Harvard Business School. Or you could always snap off the set and go back to 'Read.'"

Wouldn't my plan still work today? Hmm...dream on, fella.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright ©1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.