Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Remember Paper Dresses?

Stan Freberg here. Remember paper dresses? You don't? I'm not kidding. It was a short-lived and fairly practical fad back in the 60s: paper dresses you ccould shorten with a pair of scissors, and mend with Scotch tape. Sounds like a great idea. What happened? More when I come back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. Back in the 1960s, paper dresses were all the rage. I don't mean for paper dolls, I mean for real girls. They were developed by the Scott Paper Company, and offered by mail for only $1.25.

It caught on so good that dress manufacturers soon began coming out with more elaborate designs. And one company was finally selling 80,000 paper dresses a week! They even tried to sell paper bikinis. No wonder they didn't catch on: one dip in the water and you might be arrested.

Another company had $8 maternity dresses and a $15 paper wedding gown. As a one-time father of the bride, believe me, the price was right, compared to what my daughter Donna Jean ended up ordering.

In 1967, Time magazine said, "Paper clothing apparently is here to stay." They were wrong, as it turned out. But why not? You could scoop a neckline or raise a hemline with a pair of scissors, and mend a tear in the dress with Scotch tape. Hmm.

Now I suppose a woman with nothing to wear and an artistic touch could put a new dress together with a bunch of old faxes. "Please stop reading my dress!"

Would that be paper harassment?

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright ©1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.