Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Meanie Dolls? No, Thanks!

Stan Freberg here. Most of the time, a doll is something all sweet and cuddly, right? Wrong. I can only hope my granddaughter Rylee Jean doesn't hear about "Meanie Dolls," but, she will. Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. It had to happen. Once cuddly cloth "beanie dolls" were all the rage, it was only a question of time 'til a mean-spirited version surfaced: "Meanie Dolls."

You want a bird hurling with cloth vomit? You want "Hurly, the Pukin' Toucan"! How about a flattened-out cat named "Splat, the Roadkill Cat"? Charming, huh? The company, The Idea Factory, says it has "splatitude."

A rep says, "Meanie Dolls aren't disgusting, they just have an 'edge'." Um-hm. What ever happened to a simple toy like "Lincoln Logs"? They had an "edge", and you just fitted the edges together.

For that matter, what ever happened to taste?

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright©1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.