STAN FREBERG HERE...The Weekly World News
Stan Freberg here. With all the mayhem happening in the world, it's sort of a relief to pick up one of my favorite newspapers, The Weekly World News, and read of violence of a more bizarre kind. How bizarre? Well, check this headline: "270 LB. GAL FALLS ON 140 LB. BOYFRIEND AND KILLS HIM," SAY COPS! That, and other stories, after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]
"In West Palm Beach, Florida, a gigantic 270 lb. woman was arrested by cops after she fell on her 140 lb. boyfriend and crushed him to death." Hmm.
"'They were drinking and arguing,' say the police. 'One word led to another, and 'Plop!' He got squashed.' Viola Thompson, 39, has been charged with manslaughter."
Or how about this? PIPE ORGAN BLAST SCARES MINISTER TO DEATH!
"Amarillo, Texas - Bible-pounding pastor Ethan Paxton was in his church office, preparing his Sunday sermon, when the church organist unleashed an ear-shattering blast from the pipe organ and scared the preacher to death."
"'Yep,' says organist Cecilia Dillingham, 'I went in on Saturday to practice, and he didn't even know I was there. Unbeknownst to me, somebody had turned up the volume control. I hit a C-sharp chord, and it sounded like a bombshell. Then I heard a loud crash. When I went to check, there was Pastor Paxton on the floor, clutching his heart. That pipe organ killed him, all right.'"
Well, you know what they say, Cecilia: "Use a pipe organ, go to jail!"
Stan Freberg here.
Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.