Satiric radio commentaries for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

The Typewriter Report (Part One)

Stan Freberg here, noting with some sadness the obituaries written for the typewriter lately. All the computer techies and people on the internet snidely looking down their noses at the thought of a keyboard that's not wired into anything; but there are still a few of us that hang on to our typewriters. Back in a minute. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. Sorry to hear about the Smith-Corona typewriter company's biting the ribbon. Yes, I'm computer literate; when I'm in town, I write on a Macintosh, but before computers were invented, I wrote on a typewriter like all the other writers in the world.

When I travel, I still carry my Olivetti portable. If I carried a laptop, I'd also have to carry a printer. Too much to go wrong. At midnight, writing in Cleveland, say, I don't like the idea of my computer crashing. The only thing I want to have crashing in my hotel room, is ME!

Say the computer doesn't crash, but my printer does. What I have written is in the computer, but how do I get it out? I call the desk. "Oh, no, Mr. Freberg, nobody on the premises who can fix that. In the morning, maybe the concierge can run it over to a computer store. Have it back in a couple of days for you." "Uh-huh. No, thanks, I'm speaking at nine in the morning." Nope, I like the feeling of being in total control of my writing. With a typewriter, all I need is an extra ribbon, a nice pile of white paper, and my God-given brain. Then I can just pull what I have written right out of the machine!

What a concept.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.