Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

A Shattering Experience

Stan Freberg here. Just read a story about a woman who seems to break mirrors whenever she gets near them. Scientists are baffled. More, when I come back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. A pretty blonde radio dispatcher in Philadelphia has an unusual and dubious talent. Lucy Benniwell has the ability to shatter mirrors, just by being near them.

Yes, I know, you've heard the old saying about a face that could break a mirror, but this is a very attractive lady. It's just that when she stands close to any reflective glass surface, it begins to develop tiny cracks, and if she doesn't move away within five minutes, glass is flying in all directions.

Dr. Maurice Clavanaugh, a noted physicist, has been studying Miss Benniwell for two years and says, "Our instruments have determined that there's a strong electrical force surrounding her, but we don't know why it has such an effect on mirrors."

Miss Benniwell, 29, says the incidents began right after she returned from a vaction to Egypt, where she had visited the great pyramids...Uh-oh...

"I was drying my hair in front of a mirror, and I noticed it starting to crack," she says. "Finally, the mirror shattered. Now I'm forced to use the side of my toaster as a mirror, since I don't affect metal." Hmm. I wonder if her toast shatters.

Dr. Clavanaugh says, "We've known for years that the pyramids contain electromagnetic power," but he's mystified by Miss Benniwell's effect on mirrors.

In the meantime, Lucy, try and stay out of mirror shops.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.