Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Big Brother Is Washing You?

Stan Freberg here. Have you ever wondered if restaurant employees really wash their hands after using the restroom? You're not alone. Now a new invention may guarantee that they do. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. I've been in a restaurant restroom when a waiter, after using the facilities, breezed out the door without washing up as he was supposed to. I remember thinking, "Hah, I hope he's not MY waiter!"

Now comes a high-tech invention called "Hygiene Guard." Studies show that only 61% of men wash up, 73% of women. Hmm. Hygiene Guard, mounted in a restroom ceiling, sends a signal to a badge worn by the employee, that starts blinking when they enter a restroom. To stop the blinking, they have to activate the soap dispenser, and stand in front of the sink for 15 seconds. All right!

The first customer is the U.S. Army, via the Beaumont Army Medical Center in El Paso, Texas. Even though it sounds like "Big Brother is washing you," I'm all for it.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.