Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

You Call 5.4 An Earthquake?

Stan Freberg here. They recently had an earthquake in Seattle. Everybody got all excited up there. I guess they don't have all that many quakes in Seattle. But down here in southern what else is new? Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. Yes, Seattle had an earthquake. I saw film footage of people reacting. It happened right in the middle of a Seattle Mariners-Cleveland Indians baseball game. They had footage of the people in the Kingdome clearing out and so forth. Just a moderate quake, a 5.4. And I saw some footage of two women in a Seattle nightclub singing. The stage is rocking and one woman stopped singing and looks off kinda scared, as a man hollers, "Earthquake!" But the other woman keeps right on smiling and singing. She must have been from L.A.

Here in Los Angeles, we treat a 5.4 as just a warm-up for something bigger coming, you know, like a siesmic hors d'oeuvre. Actually, to an L.A. person, a 5.4 is just a little bigger than a beer truck rumbling by. But anything above a 6 on the old Richter gets our attention.

After the Northridge quake, a 7 and change, by the way, plus the hundreds of aftershocks, my wife and I slept in our jogging suits and tennis shoes for weeks! And our earthquake bag with water, radio, flashlights and power bars was right by the bed, just in case we had to suddenly hit the ground running.

In the meantime, a couple of years later, many's the night we're still "Sleepless in Los Angeles."

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.