Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

The Language Junkyard

Stan Freberg here. I tend to forget how some words, like names, tend to become obsolete; dumped in the language junkyard. Most of the words that no longer have any meaning have been shoved out of the way by advancing technology, like "record." "What's a record?" You know, like an "album." "Would you mean, by any chance, a 'CD'?" Back after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. In the recording business, like in the recording of these commentaries, my audio engineer, Terry, usually uses a razor blade to cut the audio tape when an edit is needed, to take out an unwanted word or sentence. Then he splices the tape back together with editing tape. He uses a single-edged razor blade...the kind men used to shave with.

A friend of mine, Dave West, who is involved in the syndication of these commentaries back in New York, happened to mention the use of a razor blade to a young audio engineer. He said to Dave, "What's a razor blade?"

The young man had always shaved with an electric razor and now edited tape digitally, cutting and pasting electronically. "What's a razor blade?" He wasn't kidding. The words had never entered his world.

"Shoehorn" is another term now passed from the scene. I guess young people just use their finger or something to get their feet into tight shoes. "Shoehorn? Did you play it like a trumpet, dad? And what's a 'piano'? Is that something like a 'keyboard'?"

Fats Waller, Errol Garner, Arthur Rubenstein...yeah, they were all on keyboards, weren't they?

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.