Satiric radio comentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

News From the Pothole Desk

Stan Freberg here. What's the story about potholes? Those holes in the road that are supposed to be fixed, but rarely are? Every time I drive over one, my whole body is jolted, to say nothing of my car's body. More on potholes, in a minute. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again with a few facts from the pothole desk. What's the story? Every city has a pothole problem and they never seem to get even. When three are filled, five more appear out of nowhere! It's like "The Sorcerer's Apprentice"! Remember Mickey Mouse in "Fantasia" trying to mop up the water, but never catching up?

I try to avoid them, but I'm jolted from my scalp to the soles of my feet, in spite of my shock absorbers that absorb nothing when I drive over a really bad one.

According to one national survey, there are thirtypotholes for every mile of paved road in America, making a "Grand Canyon" of ninety million potholes! New York, the pothole capital of the U.S., filled 125,000 of them last year. And I'm sure Los Angeles, where I live, is close behind New York, pothole-wise.

BLAM!!! There's another beauty I didn't see in time to swerve. What's the story? Is there a "Unapotholer" who drives around in a Sherman tank in the middle of the night, gouging holes in the street? Come on! Write your "pothole manifesto," so someone can publish it, and the F.B.I. can trace the tank! I've had enough!

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.