Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Kaczynski the Unabomber? Naah.

Stan Freberg here. Any chance that the mountain hermit, Ted Kaczynski, captured by the F.B.I. in Lincoln, Montana, is "The Unabomber"? Naah. Just a lot of coincidences. Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. So they're saying that Ted Kaczynski, taken into custody recently by the F.B.I., could actually be "the Unabomber"? Well, what actual proof do they have? Just because they found a lot of bomb making tools stashed in his Montana cabin, plus two actual bombs ready to mail, what does that prove, you know? Oh, and they had to detonate one of the bombs.

Plus a list of college professors and their addresses. Maybe that's what all mountain hermits have in their remote cabins in the woods. Oh, and I forgot the three typewriters, the typeface of which match various letters sent by "the Unabomber." And the original manuscript of the manifesto, yeah, published by the New York Times and Washington Post. They found that up in the attic. Hey, anybody could happen to have the original manifesto stashed in their attic, right?

And he just happened to have been in all those cities where various bombs were shipped from, so let's not be throwing accusations around, okay? That's why they keep referring to Kaczynski as the "alleged Unabomber." Well, I should hope so, Ted! All that stuff is pure coincidence, right?

"The Unabomber"? Naah.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.