Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Paper Clip Puzzle

Stan Freberg here with a few thoughts about paper clips. I love paper clips. I mean the silver kind. Yeah, there are multi-colored ones now, but the silver ones mean you're dealing with a serious paper clip. However, there's something about them I don't understand. Back in a minute. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. As a writer, there's a great satisfaction about opening a new box of jumbo paper clips. Who has time to fool with those "itsy-bitsy" clips? Writers need JUMBO clips! Of course, there's something intimidating about paper clips. It means there must be pages of scripts that need to be held together with these clips. Pages? Hmm...better get busy writing pages of something for the clips to hold together.

See what I mean? Just looking at a box of paper clips puts pressure on a writer. But there's a mystery I've never discovered the answer to. I just opened a new box of silver jumbo clips, but even though each clip is seperated from the others as I go to bed tonight, in the morning I'll come out and find most of the clips hooked together, like in a long chain. I don't think they come from the factory like that, no.

What's the answer? Should I set my alarm, creep out at 3 a.m. with a flashlight, and see if there are paper clip gremlins at work? It's very annoying when you need a clip in a hurry and out comes a paper clip chain, dangling in the air, that you have to untangle.

What's the story? Is there someone called "the Unaclipper" at work? If you have a theory, drop me a line.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.