Stan's Book Review: "Politically Correct Fairy Tales"

Stan Freberg here. A while back, the satiric writer James Finn Garner wrote a very funny book called "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories." Now he's done a sequel called, "Once Upon A More Enlightened Time." A few hilarious highlights, after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK] Freberg here. James Finn Garner, in his second book, has once again revised some fairy tales to be more "politically correct." For example, since many feminists play down the idea of beauty in a woman, "Sleeping Beauty" has become "Sleeping Person of Better-than-Average Attractiveness." And in an effort to be gender neutral, "The Little Mermaid" has become "The Little Mer-Person." "The Little Mer-Person"... In his politically correct "p.c." version of "Hansel and Gretel," he refers to them as "pre-adults." Instead of crumbs, Hansel drops granola in the woods. He tells Gretel, "I have left a trail to follow back without defacing a single tree!"But when they go to find the trail, they discover a group of survivalists busy eating up the granola. The hopelessly lost "pre-adults" finally come upon a cottage, he says, made of carob brownies, sugarless gingerbread, and carrot cake. Even without a reassuring F.D.A. label, they dived in and began to devour it. The witch turns out to be a "Save the Forest" activist, and engages Hansel and Gretel to fight the lumber industry by throwing monkey wrenches into bulldozers. Hansel and Gretel's woodcutter father shows up at the end, in an Armani suit, Italian loafers with tassels, a phalanx of lawyers, and a philofax. That's all the "politically correct" bedtime stories for now. Stan Freberg here. Copyright (C)1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.