Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Japanese Vending Machines

Stan Freberg here. You couldn't say vending machines were everywhere you look in America. Well, they are in Japan. They have vending machines for everything from jewelry to rice. More after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

In Japan, people can not only get soft drinks from vending machines, but cut flowers, train tickets, jewelry, magazines, video cassettes and hamburgers. Hamburgers? Is there a small man in there cooking these things to order?

45 billion dollars' worth of goods per year are sold through vending machines. In a country where traditional ways of elaborate courtesy in dealing with shopkeepers is time consuming to harried young Japanese on the run, the convenience of a vending machine is obvious--no bowing and chatting with the merchant out of respect; just shove a couple of hundred yen in a vending machine and they're outta there, man!

There are machines for everything. You feel like a change of underwear after your sauna? A machine will give you clean unmentionables...except that I just mentioned them. Forgot your business cards? A machine will print them out instantly!

There are also dating machines. A shy man can feed his age, astrological sign, type of car he drives, and the info will go to another vending machine, where a shy woman may see a printout. If they end up getting married, could the man make the dating device his "best man"? Or, rather, "best vending machine"?

Actually, there are a lot more vending machines in Japan than there are American cars. Ooops! Sorry. That was hitting below the fan belt.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.