Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Not Enough Earthquakes?

Stan Freberg here. A newspaper story reported that we here in Southern California have not had quite enough earthquakes. Oh, really? Not for the number of faults under Los Angeles, they claim a seismologist said. Not exactly accurate. More after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. Dr.Lucy Jones, seismologist with the U.S. Geological Survey and Cal Tech, was quoted in a newspaper story as saying we haven't had enough earthquakes for the number of faults under L.A.

I spoke with Dr. Jones, who said she'd been misquoted. Dr. Jones told me there were a couple of new faults, but what she meant was that over the last 200 years, the earthquakes were more moderate ones and should have been stronger. And that the quakes in the last six years had accelerated to one major earthquake per year, so maybe we're finally catching up, she said. Hmm.

She also told me that many quakes along the San Andreas fault, especially between Paso Robles and San Jose, are barely felt on the surface, but still manage to buckle the sidewalk. "Say, Chuck, you notice the sidewalks buckling under you there?"

We'll close with a few words with our guest seismologist, Dr. Sam Andreas. How are you, sir?

SAM: Fine, but what I want to know is, why do people always say it's my fault?

STAN: I beg your pardon?

SAM: Well, every time there's a big quake here, people say, "It's Sam Andreas's fault!" Why is it always my fault?

STAN: Uh, sorry about that. Our thanks to Dr. Sam Andreas for dropping by...

SAM: Not MY fault!

STAN: Ah, yes, thank you, sir. Until the next big one, Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.