Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Robot Priest

Stan Freberg here. A former priest-turned-inventor has come up with a robot priest to hear your confession. Is that gonna work for Catholics? What does the Pope have to say about this? More after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. I recently read of a "drive-thru" marriage chapel in Las Vegas for people really in a hurry. The minister is on a video monitor, like at a "drive-thru" bank.

Now, a robot priest to hear confession has come to my attention. Who said the church is archaic? Will the world of computers invade the confessional? With less and less young people wanting to go into the priesthood, could this be the answer?

Robert O'Shea, a former priest, has invented a computerized confessional that will listen to penance and sins, evaluate them against a databank for an appropriate penance, and then present the bill which can be paid by check, cash or credit card.

O'Shea uses an artificial intelligence computer program which responds to key words. "For instance," he says, "if you tell the computerized priest that you lust after your neighbor's wife, it will deliver an appropriate lecture." O'Shea, who has a laboratory in Brisbane, Australia, believes cash fines for sins will be more effective than a number of "Hail Marys."

The official Catholic Church apparently is not interested in O'Shea's robot priest. "God is NOT a computer chip," said a Vatican spokesman.

Probably didn't like the idea of people saying, "Bless me, Robot, for I have sinned."

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.