Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Harper's Index®: Chicken Feet and Chewing Gum, etc., etc.

Stan Freberg here with a few actual statistics from "Harper's Index." Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. Length of time the U.S. Army estimates its supply of sand-colored aircraft sized camouflage will last? 159 years. Okay, but if only lasts 149 years, the Pentagon wants their money back.

Number of the four best-selling classical music albums of all time that are collections put out by Victoria's Secret? Two. Two out of four. Oh, sure, I always read the Victoria's Secret catalog to check out the classical albums.

Rank of chicken feet among Chinese moviegoers' favorite snacks? Number one! Ahem..."I'll have the chicken feet and some Milk Duds, please."

Okay, maximum fine for bringing one stick of chewing gum into Singapore? $10,000. Hmm...I think you can bring in chicken feet, though.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.