Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

The Weirdness Index

Stan Freberg here. These are weird times we're living in. Doctors recently removed a 47-year old bus ticket from a deaf man's ear. A London paper has declared that the strangeness index keeps moving upward. More weird stuff, after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. The times we're living in are a full 3.5% weirder than they were the year before. At least, that is the conclusion of "The Fortean Times" , a London-based magazine dedicated to the study of all things bizarre.

For example, a trash bin from London was found beside the Sea of Galilee. How did it get there? 60 lambs in Germany were attacked and killed by hundreds of crows.

Leading the "weirdness index" upward was the "strange behavior component," says the magazine's editor, Robert Rickard. He's referring to such things as people who throw birds into cars waiting at stop lights, and the robber who taped two cucumbers together, and pretended he had a sawed-off shotgun. Well, you know what they say: "Use a cucumber, go to jail."

This year may be even weirder than last, and the Fortean Times says sightings of the Virgin Mary, and highway ghosts, are on the rise.

And finally, as I mentioned, Swedish doctors cured a deaf man by removing a 47-year old bus ticket from the man's ear.

"Eureka! I can hear fine now!"

"Good. But I'm afraid you've missed your bus."

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.