Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Fed Up? You Bet Your Asteroids!

Stan Freberg here. Let's get to the bottom of this giant asteroid business. First we hear that a mile-wide asteroid is headed for Earth, and may or may not miss us, 30 years from now. And then, right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. You can take off your football helmet and come out from under the bed now. After the international astrological people told us that a giant asteroid would come within 26,000 miles of Earth, they now say, like Gilda Radner used to say, "Never mind."

They said, "You know what? We sorta refigured the orbit, and it'll breeze by not 26,000 miles away, but 600,000 miles away." Excuse me?

The last asteroid to hit Earth 65,000,000 years ago wiped out the dinosaurs. I wonder if the Pentagon could actually tailor the orbit of this asteroid, so it arrives a little sooner, and hits Baghdad!

Ain't no bunker gonna survive that!

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1998, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.