Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Harper's Index®: Jet Fuel and Global Warming, etc., etc.

Stan Freberg here with a few statistics from "Harper's Index®"--actual figures reported by Harper's, with my aftercomments. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. Estimated gallons of jet fuel required to send Al Gore to Kyoto's Global Warming Conference last December? 60,000. Well, hey, jet fuel is good for the environment, right, Al?

Next: daily fee that Stanford Medical Center pays research subjects to ingest E.coli bacteria? $75. "Uhhh, it's a fast way to get seventy-five bucks, dude!" Um-hmmm...

Number of years that Julia Child was employed by a U.S. intelligence agency? 3. What did they do, parachute her in behind a Russian kitchen?

Finally, number of American chickens that have been fitted with rose-colored LENSES??? 100,000! I don't even want to imagine what that's all about!

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1998, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.