Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Alexander Graham Bell and the Telephone

Stan Freberg here. This month celebrates Bell's patenting of the telephone back in March, 1876. Freberg's take on that, after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

In my Grammy-nominated CD "Stan Freberg presents The Unites States of America, Vol. 2," I saluted Alexander Graham Bell. After I sent his assistant Watson into the next room, Bell picks up his phone for the first time, and hears a strange voice:

OPERATOR: What number are you calling?

BELL: What? Who IS this?

OPERATOR: This is the operator...

BELL: The operator of what? Wh-what are you operating?

OPERATOR: Do you have a first name or initial?

(SFX: Hangs up phone)

BELL (Under his breath): I must be imagining things...I've been putting in too much overtime...

(SFX: Picks up receiver)

OPERATOR: Please deposit fifteen cents for overtime...

BELL: Watson! Come here! I REALLY need you!

(SFX: Door opens)

BELL: I've been trying to call you!

WATSON: And I've been trying to call you, too--but your line was busy!

(MUSIC: Up and under)

Stan Freberg here.

(Music out.)

Copyright (C)1998, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.