Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Dumb Doomed Words (1997 Version)

Stan Freberg here. Some time back, some political correctness people tried to force us to use, instead of the words "waitress" or "waiter," the cumbersome word "waitperson." More after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. Good news for language buffs - the dumb words "waitron" or "waitperson" are dead as a linguistic doornail. These awkward substitutes for "waiter" or "waitress" have not gone over well.

William Safire, the language pundit of The New York Times, reports they're pretty much out of use now. He said for one thing, waitresses didn't mind being called "waitresses." Good! Another triumph for common sense.

Every time I called out in a restaurant, "Oh, waitron," everybody laughed. How, then, did these clumsy pseudo-words actually end up in new dictionaries? Ah, publishers, nervously trying too hard to be politically correct. They should have checked with me or William Safire.

I say if a word sounds dumb, it's doomed.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1998, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.