Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

"Cool" Not So "Hot" In Turkey

Stan Freberg here. According to Newsweek, you can't say certain words around the world. For example, the word "computer" is a no-no in Iran. I kid you not! And don't say "cool" in Turkey. Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. Don't say the word "hot" in Turkey. It isn't cool. Neither is the word "cool," for that matter. Turkey's government has warned that people will be fined who use certain words in ads or on the air. Along with "cool," the word "hit" is banned. That means L.L. Cool J better not have a "hit" in Turkey. Actually, there's no way he can, with this law in effect.

And forget about Turkey--touchy Iran has deemed that the words "intellectual," "computer," "fax" and "police" cannot be used. What??? That means you can't say, "Help! Police! Someone has just stolen my fax and computer, just as I was writing an essay on intellectuals!" In that one sentence you could set yourself up for a year in jail.

And also, France has banned the words "cheeseburger," "bulldozer," "stress," "log on," and "airbag." I'm NOT making this up! It's against the law in France to use "cheeseburger," "bulldozer," "stress," "log on," or "airbag"! Well, next time I'm in Paris, I must remind myself not to say, "I feel like a cheeseburger to alleviate the stress of not being able to log on the internet, so I'll drive that bulldozer fast and hope it has an airbag." Probably get a life sentence for using that sentence.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.