Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Armed Police Dogs?

Stan Freberg here. What's that German Shepherd wearing on his head as he runs up to a mugger, thief, or just your ordinary "perp"? He looks kinda like Darth Vader! I'll explain, after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. If you're a bad guy, the only thing worse than a German Shepherd lunging at your leg is an ARMED German Shepherd. Yes, police dogs wearing weapons is about to become a reality.

No, the canine officers won't be drawing a .45 with their paw, but the dogs may be equipped with stun gun-type muzzles that would allow them to zap the "perp" rather than bite him.

The muzzle, which can be activated remotely from up to 50 yards away by a police officer, immobilizes the suspect for 5 to 10 seconds. ZAP! Enough time for cops to catch up and cuff him.

"It kinda looks like a Darth Vader mask with blue sparks coming off the front," says William Burke, tax consultant- turned-taser maker. He and his co-inventor, a former police dog trainer, came up with the idea to help solve the liability problems of siccing dogs on suspects that may come back and sue the city for being bitten, in this "politically correct" atmosphere.

The Orange County, California pair hope to have their taser muzzles on the market soon. But seeing a dog that looks like Darth Vader lunging at you could give the "perp" a heart attack.

Hmm. Whole new set of problems.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.