Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Guilty of Kindness?

Stan Freberg here. A woman has been convicted of feeding other peoples' parking meters so they wouldn't get a ticket. She plunked in a dime and a nickel. Hey! Throw that woman in JAIL! Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. Our streets run rampant with crime - muggings, holdups, car thefts; plenty to keep police officers busy, I'd say. So how is it that in Cincinnati, a 63-year old grandmother of 10 was arrested for feeding other peoples' parking meters that had run out?

How much did she put in? 15 cents...say WHAT??? She was convicted of "obstructing official business" for a crime she considered a random act of kindness.

"I tried to do what I thought was the right thing," said Sylvia Staton as she left court. She faces up to 90 days in jail, and a $750 fine, when she is sentenced later in the month.

"I was floored," she said, when Officer Ed Johnson, acting on an obscure Cincinnati ordinance, grabbed her arm and put handcuffs on her. Well, hey, if everybody did that, Cincinnati'd lose a lot of revenue from parking tickets, right? Can't have grandmothers of 10 commiting heinous crimes like this.

Her brief stay behind bars has turned Sylvia into something of a folk hero. A church group that has been anonomously feeding parking meters for years has printed up t-shirts that read, "Sylvia Staton - Guilty of Kindness." Her lawyer plans to appeal.

I would hope so.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright (C)1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.