Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Beware of Valentine's Day!

Stan Freberg here. With Valentine's Day coming, you may want to stop playing around, especially if you use a beeper, computer, or the internet. She or he can find out what you've been up to. More after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. Beware of high-tech traps, o unfaithful lover. Records from cell phones, beepers, or computers are the latest way to get caught cheating on a spouse or lover.

Shirley Glass, Baltimore psychologist who researches extramarital affairs, says, "This is the age of new technology, and this is the way people are getting caught today." If you want to keep your private life private, don't keep cellular phone bills around, or pass along your beeper i.d. number, let alone have an affair in cyber-space. "And if you know the code to your partner's beeper," Glass says, "you may be able to access the last 15 phone numbers that were called." Oh-oh...

Princess Di's 1989 racy conversations from a man who phoned her from his car phone were picked up by two nearby radio hams, a retired bank manager, and a typist. When Di heard this, she probably temporarily turned into "royal jelly." And according to Laura Banks, author of "Love On-line," "Cyberspace is a medium where we are spilling our guts. We go inside each other's minds, but remember the inside of your mind can be seen by a spouse who has access to your access on the internet."

Something to think about, o cyberperson, as Valentine's Day approacheth.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright ©1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.