Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

New Product Flops (1997 Version)

Stan Freberg here with some big ideas that bombed. For example, denim diapers. If they'd worked out, Americans could have gone from cradle to grave wearing blue denim. More product flops, after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. The New Product Showcase in Ithica, New York is a museum dedicated to new products that didn't make it; like "Pepsi A.M.," a brief try at getting people to drink Pepsi first thing in the morning, can be found there, as is "Nude Beer," featuring a girl in a bikini on the label. You could scratch off the girl's bikini, so she ended up nude. Hmm...bad idea. Beer harassment.

How 'bout "Dino Drops," a matching tie clip and cufflinks made from 150 million year-old dinosaur droppings? Marketed back in 1969, 25 years before "Jurassic Park"; just ahead of its' time.

On the other hand, it might've sold well 150 million years ago, except cavemen didn't wear cufflinks.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright ©1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.