Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

What Dogs Hear

Stan Freberg here. Do dogs understand us? Sometimes. And some dogs more than others. But a Dutch police dog is having his problems with his American police partner. Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. My son Donavan, who has two dogs, has a famous Gary Larson cartoon on his refrigerator. It shows a man talking to his dog. It says, "What we say to dogs: 'I've told you before, Ginger, stay out of the trash! Do you hear me, Ginger?'" The other panel says, "What dogs hear: 'Blah blah blah, Ginger. Blah blah blah blah, Ginger?'"

Now in an example of life imitating art comes the story of the Cotati, California police department's new police dog. They saved for over a year to be able to buy a $6000 Belgian Malanois named "Colin." But since Colin was imported from Europe, he doesn't understand English!

Tony Werner, Colin's two-legged partner, says the first time he brought the dog home, his wife thought the expensive canine was stupid! She would tell him, "Get off the bed! Do you hear me? Get off the bed!" The dog would lie down on the bed.

It turns out that "off"--"af" in Dutch--means, "lie down"! The dog heard, "Blah blah blah af," or, "blah blah blah lie down," and did what he was told. Now they have to retrain the dog in English.

Time for me to get off the air. If Colin were here, he'd lie down by the mike.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright ©1996, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.