Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

"Green Chri$tma$"

Stan Freberg here. I once made a recording called "Green Chri$tma$," kidding the overcommercialization of Christmas. A little of that, after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. On my CD "Green Chri$tma$," I play a Madison Avenue-type named Scrooge. We can't do justice to my original 5-minute satire, but here's a cigarette executive talking about his Christmas ad:
CRASS: We've got Santa a little more rugged, too. Both sleeves rolled up and a tatoo on each arm. One of 'em says, "Merry Christmas."
SCROOGE: What's the other one say?
CRASS: "Less tars."
CHORUS: Deck the halls with advertising, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
SCROOGE: Let me show you how to make Christmas work for you.
CHORUS: We wish you a Merry Christmas--and please buy our beer!

I ended "Green Chri$tma$" like this:

(We hear "Jingle Bells" punctuated with the sound of a cash register ringing up sales. On the last note of the music, we hear money dropping in and the cash register slamming shut!)

Merry Christmas, everybody! Stan Freberg here.

Copyright ©1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.