Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

Children's Christmas Advertising

Stan Freberg here. As Christmas nears, childrens' whining for toys they've seen advertised on TV accelerates. ENOUGH!!! If you gave them each an apple, would they ask, "Are these 'Power Ranger' apples?" Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg here. It's no good for parents and grandparents to long for the goold old Christmases of yuletimes past. The time when an orange and a small teddy bear in a stocking was a big deal. Actually, even I can't remember that. That must have been during the time of Grover Cleveland.

To toy manufacturers who start pitching Christmas toys on television just after the 4th of July, it seems to me, Christmas season itself is like the Invasion of Normandy.

"The television barrage aimed at children increases three times during the holiday season itself," says Rena Carl, executive editor of Marketing to Kids Report. I could've told her that. And recession or not, childrens' influence resulted in their parents spending 155 Billion! I think a lot of that went directly into my granddaughter Riley Jean's toy chest, from the looks of it.

And yet, she's just as thrilled playing with some differently shaped springy sponges that came out of a book shipment I received. My wife gave them to her, and she floats 'em in the bathtub. When she's at our house, she won't take a bath without 'em! And they're not even "Power Ranger" sponges!

They didn't cost ANYTHING. Makes you wonder.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright ©1995, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.