Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

America's Sickest Cities

Stan Freberg here. Along with El Nino, the winter cold is upon us. According to U.S. News, about 50% of Americans will be infected with colds this winter. A few of the sickest cities, after this. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. This year, Americans will blow their nose on 199 billion tissues! That's 743 tissues for every man, woman and child. Hmm. I think my children use that much in a week.

The L.A. Times had a list of the sickest cities in the U.S.; that is, the cities with the most colds and flu. I'll give you the top 5, in order of their sniffling.

Number 1, Little Rock, Arkansas, followed by Hartford, Connecticut; San Diego; Minneapolis, and Greensboro, North Carolina. L.A., where I live, is way down at 54; and the least sick city, number 72, is West Palm Beach, Florida. It's either all that orange juice, or more doctors per square mile.

Try and stay warm.

Stan Freberg here.

Copyright ©1997, Stan Freberg/Freberg, Ltd. (but not very) Distributed by Dick Brescia Associates and Radio Spirits, Inc.