Satiric radio commentary for the 90s from the man who drained Lake Michigan and filled it with hot chocolate!!!

The Alternative Turkey

Stan Freberg here, and so is the tofu turkey. Not just vegetarians will be sitting down to Christmas dinner with this alternative turkey. Be right back. [:60 SPOT BREAK]

Freberg again. Watch out, Butterball--the tofu turkey is here! According to the Wall Street Journal, 26,000 alternative turkeys, shaped like a roasted turkey, but made of tofu, will be consumed this year. 4 times as many as last year. I may try one myself.

Vegetarian Times magazine ran a picture of me with my thumb and index finger an inch apart. The caption read, "Stan Freberg says he is this far from becoming a vegetarian."

I just can't make up my mind between the tofu turkey from Fresh Tofu of Easton, Pennsylvania; the "Tofurkey" with four drumsticks from Turtle Island Foods, Hood River, Oregon; or the "Unturkey" from San Fransisco's Now And Zen.

Hmm. I wonder if they have a wheat gluten wishbone.

Stan Freberg here.

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